Monday, 8 March 2010

A Wonderful Sound

Every morning at about 6am, I groggily head outside to my backyard with my coffee and the dog at my heels. Since Jayk has been part of our family, he knows his routine of going outside at 6am. (Mind you, he's nice enough to let me sleep in until 7h30am on the weekends). The weather is gettting warmer by the day and I welcome the warmth of the morning sun just rising above the rooftops. What has really been enchanting me lately is the beautiful unique song of the cardinal. What a great way to wake up! My eyes closed, listening, and slowly sipping my coffee.

Lately, I've been a little down on my knitting. My Knitting Olympics project crashed and burned. The amount of knitting I have done for my supposed craft booth for this coming Christmas is low (like two items). Also, the fact that I am overweight by 15lbs (and still a cookie monster) is depressing and impedes on my motivation to knit when I should be exercising and eating healthy. Even more depressing is seeing people around me knit huge amounts of things and it seems that I'm always on the same project! But yet, I buy more yarn.... why? sigh...

Believe me, I know what needs to be done! I need to wake up at 5h15am, do a workout, take a shower, and get myself moving. In addition, I need to make meals ahead, make lunches right after dinner, do dishes and go to bed at a decent time. But NOOOOO!!! What I end up doing when I get home from work is clean the kitchen from the night before, have a late quick unhealthy dinner with the kids, do homework with my son, tidy up and do some laundry until 9pm then plop myself in front of the t.v. once my kids are in bed and fall asleep at midnight still sitting in front of the t.v.... not even knitting! WHY????? I NEVER USED TO WATCH TV!!! Well... not that much anyway!

Schedules have been made but they were never followed. A sweet kick in the arse is what I need. This would also help my kids. My daughter is lazy and has no chores. At fourteen, I was in charge of starting dinner for my Mom and doing dishes with my sister afterwards. That was on top of my homework!

It's like I keep telling myself that I need ME time. Enough is enough already! I feel like a failure half the time!

So, I'm off to make a new schedule which will be fine tuned with no reason to fail! I have to make this look like a synchronized dance that we have practised for years.... or maybe like the wonderful morning cardinal song... effortless.

Until next post...

K.

Cardinal Sound Clip courtesy of http://www.junglewalk.com

2 comments:

knitjo said...

That was some really bad self bashing there--stop that NOW! You look awesome and I know you are a great mom...I know what you mean about chores...I'm sure she could start helping out with the meals or the lunches...

kate said...

Echo KnitJo - enough already! It is plain enough to the rest of us what a fab person and terrific mom you are, and just way darn cute too! So take a deep breath and just chill! Don't worry so much about what was and should have been, but rather focus on today. Do the one-day-at-a-time thing. Pick something small to focus on and just do that one thing for today. Little successes will provide the motivation for the next little job and so on and so on. And for darn sakes give yourself a hug will ya! You're the bomb baby, and don't you forget it!